1. YouTube Summaries
  2. Women Reveal Top Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs in Men's Behavior

Women Reveal Top Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs in Men's Behavior

By scribe 6 minute read

Create articles from any YouTube video or use our API to get YouTube transcriptions

Start for free
or, create a free article to see how easy it is.

What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive in Men

Understanding what women find appealing or off-putting in men's behavior can be valuable for anyone looking to make a good impression or improve their dating success. To gain insight into this topic, six women were brought together to share their honest opinions on various aspects of male behavior and habits. Their responses reveal some common themes as well as individual preferences when it comes to what attracts or repels them.

First Date Etiquette

Planning and Paying

When it comes to first dates, most of the women agreed that they appreciate when a man takes initiative in planning. All six women said it was a turn-on when a man plans the first date and makes the reservation. This shows thoughtfulness and effort on his part.

However, opinions were more divided on the topic of paying for the date. Some felt strongly that the man should pay, especially if he initiated the date:

"If he asked me out then it's a turnoff [if he asks to split the bill]," one woman stated. "I would do it but I would just never see him again."

Another echoed this sentiment: "If you're asking the woman to go with you on a date, you want to have a relationship or something, for me that's...you should be able to be responsible and able to pay for something like a really foundation of the life, it's like meal dinner or something."

Others were more open to splitting the bill, especially after the first few dates:

"I usually think whoever asks should probably pay, but I wouldn't mind later down the line splitting it 50/50. I think that's okay."

"It's not a turn on or a turn off...I respect that decision on the guy's part."

The general consensus seemed to be that while splitting is acceptable later in a relationship, having the man pay on the first date or two is preferred and viewed more favorably by most of the women.

Conversation and Behavior

Several behaviors during the date itself were discussed as potential turn-ons or turn-offs:

Turn-offs:

  • Talking negatively about exes: All the women agreed this was a major turn-off, especially on a first date. It suggests the man is still hung up on past relationships.
  • Dominating the conversation: Talking only about himself and his accomplishments for most of the date was seen as self-centered and a turn-off.
  • Ordering food for her without asking: This was viewed as controlling behavior by most, though some said it depends on the situation.

Turn-ons:

  • Offering his coat: This gentlemanly gesture was universally seen as sweet and attractive.
  • Texting to ensure she got home safely: The women appreciated this show of care and concern.

Personal Grooming and Style

Certain aspects of a man's appearance and grooming habits stood out to the women as particularly attractive or unattractive:

Turn-offs:

  • Long nails: This was unanimously disliked by the women.
  • Shirtless mirror selfies on social media: Most viewed this as attention-seeking and a turn-off.

Turn-ons:

  • Rolling up sleeves on a button-down shirt: Several women found this attractive, though they had trouble explaining exactly why.
  • Good hygiene and put-together appearance: Seeing a man well-groomed and dressed nicely was appealing.

Social Media Behavior

A man's social media activity can provide insights into his personality and interests. The women had strong opinions on certain online behaviors:

Major turn-off: Following lots of Instagram models All of the women viewed this negatively. Their thoughts included:

  • It suggests he's shallow and only focused on looks
  • It's a sign of immaturity
  • It indicates he may not be ready for a real relationship
  • It's a waste of time and energy that could be better spent elsewhere

One woman summed it up: "I just prefer someone who's focused on their career, focused on themselves, focused on learning and not focused on following Instagram models."

Communication Style

The way a man communicates, both in person and via text/phone, can strongly impact how he's perceived:

Turn-offs:

  • Excessive texting when she hasn't responded: This came across as clingy, insecure, or lacking in social awareness.
  • Always agreeing with everything she says: While agreeableness can be nice, the women preferred a man who could think for himself and offer different perspectives at times.

Turn-ons:

  • Confidence without arrogance: Being secure in himself without needing to brag.
  • Good eye contact: This was seen as respectful and engaging.
  • Taking charge in chaotic situations: Offering reassurance and direction when needed.

Displays of Competence

Men who demonstrated practical skills or helpfulness were viewed positively:

Turn-on: Fixing things or teaching her how to fix something The women appreciated when a man could solve problems or share knowledge, as long as it wasn't done in a condescending way. As one put it: "I think that's a big turn-on as long as you're not...mansplaining something to me in a sense where you're talking down to me and being condescending, but you're offering real help."

Red Flags and Deal-Breakers

Certain behaviors or statements were seen as major red flags that would likely end any romantic interest:

  • Calling himself an "alpha male": This was universally disliked and seen as a sign of insecurity.
  • Displaying controlling tendencies: Such as always ordering her food without asking.
  • Showing a lack of independence: Constantly seeking validation or agreement.

Subtle Gestures That Are Appreciated

The women also shared some less obvious things men do that they find attractive:

  • Gentle, affectionate touches: Like a soft touch on the knee or moving her hair when helping with a coat.
  • Making breakfast or coffee: Showing care through acts of service.
  • Confidence in his appearance: Taking pride in looking good, but not in an arrogant way.
  • Taking charge when needed: Offering reassurance and direction in stressful situations.

Key Takeaways for Men

Based on the insights shared by these women, here are some key points for men to consider:

  1. Show initiative: Plan dates, make reservations, and be prepared to pay (at least initially).

  2. Practice good communication: Maintain eye contact, listen actively, and avoid dominating conversations or constantly seeking agreement.

  3. Be respectful: Don't speak negatively about exes, avoid controlling behaviors, and be mindful of social media activity.

  4. Demonstrate competence: Offer help when appropriate, but avoid being condescending.

  5. Pay attention to grooming: Keep nails trimmed, dress well, and avoid overly showy displays on social media.

  6. Show genuine interest and care: Text to make sure she got home safely, offer your coat if she's cold.

  7. Be confident without arrogance: Avoid labels like "alpha male" and let your actions speak for themselves.

  8. Be thoughtful: Small gestures like making breakfast or helping with a coat can make a big impression.

The Importance of Individual Preferences

While these insights provide a general guide, it's crucial to remember that every woman is unique. What one finds attractive, another might not. The key is to be genuine, respectful, and attentive to the specific person you're interacting with.

Additionally, many of these preferences can apply regardless of gender. Traits like good communication, thoughtfulness, and competence are generally attractive in any partner.

Conclusion

Understanding what women find attractive or unattractive in men's behavior can be helpful for those looking to improve their dating success or simply make better impressions. The insights shared by these six women highlight the importance of respect, initiative, good communication, and genuine care.

While specific preferences may vary, the overarching themes of confidence without arrogance, thoughtfulness, and competence emerged as universally appealing. By focusing on developing these qualities and being mindful of potential turn-offs, men can increase their chances of making positive connections.

Ultimately, the most important factor is to be authentic and treat potential partners with respect and consideration. By doing so, you're more likely to attract someone who appreciates you for who you truly are.

Article created from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa4By5dqsI

Ready to automate your
LinkedIn, Twitter and blog posts with AI?

Start for free