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Start for freeThe Limitations of the LMS Theory in Personal Relationships
In recent discussions within the black pillar movement, a concept known as LMS (Looks, Money, Status) has been highlighted as a triage priority list for men's attractiveness. This perspective prioritizes physical appearance as the most crucial factor, followed by financial capability and social standing. However, this viewpoint is increasingly being challenged as overly simplistic and potentially harmful.
The Impact of Perception on Human Behavior
One critical aspect that emerges from these discussions is the role of perception in shaping our interactions with others. If individuals choose to focus on the negative traits of others, they will likely perceive more negativity in their behaviors. Conversely, seeing the best in people can lead to noticing more positive actions. This subjective experience underscores that our realities are often shaped by how we choose to see the world around us.
High Status Behaviors vs. Superficial Qualities
The traditional components of LMS are being reevaluated with an emphasis on 'high status behaviors' rather than superficial qualities like looks or material wealth. High status behaviors include confidence, security in one's identity, and competence—qualities that can profoundly influence how individuals are perceived regardless of their physical or financial attributes.
The Misconception About Physical Attributes
There's a common misconception that certain physical attributes directly correlate with desirability or success in relationships. For instance, height is often cited in personal ads as a desirable trait. However, what is often sought after is not height per se but rather what it represents—security and protection.
The Role of Authenticity in Relationships
A significant realization for many who have engaged in practices like 'game' or pickup artistry is the dissonance between who they are and the persona they project to attract partners. This realization often leads to disenchantment when individuals recognize that while certain tactics may attract attention initially, they do not lead to genuine connections or fulfillment.
Learning Social Interaction as a Skill
For some individuals who feel socially awkward or out of place, learning scripted interactions can be a stepping stone towards more fluid social behavior. It’s akin to learning any new skill—understanding the rules first allows you to eventually discard them once you’ve internalized the underlying principles.
Internal vs External Locus of Control
Discussions around dating also touch upon concepts like locus of control—whether outcomes are seen as resulting from one’s actions (internal locus) or from external circumstances beyond one’s control (external locus). Embracing an internal locus can lead to personal growth and happier life experiences because it encourages proactive behavior and empathy towards others.
Conclusion
The evolving conversation around looks, money, and status highlights a broader societal shift towards valuing authenticity and intrinsic qualities over superficial markers of success. As we navigate these changing perceptions, it becomes clear that true attraction lies not just in what is immediately visible but also in what lies beneath—the stories we tell ourselves and how we choose to interact with the world.
Article created from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4xDdCoMrT0
