Navigating Relationship Stress: Expert Insights from Dr. Liz Jenkins

Understanding Relationship Stress

Relationships can be challenging, especially when stress and conflict arise. Many couples struggle to navigate these difficult moments, unsure of how to work through their differences. According to research, 65% of divorced couples said that if they had known more about what it takes to maintain a long-term relationship, they may have been able to work things out.

To gain expert insights on this topic, we spoke with Dr. Liz Jenkins, a relationships and marriage therapist. Dr. Jenkins shared her perspective on common relationship misconceptions, sources of stress, and strategies for overcoming challenges as a couple.

Common Misconceptions About Relationships

One of the biggest misconceptions Dr. Jenkins encounters is that relationships are supposed to be easy. Many people believe that if they're meant to be with someone, everything will be smooth sailing with only minor bumps along the way.

This idealized view can cause couples to question their relationship or wonder if they made the right choice when real-life challenges arise. Dr. Jenkins notes that social media often perpetuates this misconception by only showing the highlight reel of relationships.

In reality, even strong couples face stress and conflict. What we don't see publicly are the behind-the-scenes efforts of successful couples to communicate effectively, work through disagreements, and support each other through difficult times.

Defining Relationship Stress

Dr. Jenkins defines relationship stress as when outside or internal factors, big or small, start to create tension or cracks in a couple's connection. Common sources of stress can include:

• Career choices and changes
• Parenting differences
• Division of household responsibilities
• Relationships with family and friends
• Financial issues

Interestingly, finances ranked lower on the list of top reasons for divorce than many people assume. The key is recognizing that even positive changes, like a job promotion, can create relationship stress as roles and dynamics shift.

Warning Signs of Relationship Stress

Some key indicators that a couple may be experiencing heightened relationship stress include:

• Avoiding each other
• Walking on eggshells
• Frequent arguments or blow-ups over minor issues
• Feeling angry and resentful
• Lack of intimacy or fun together
• Focusing only on negative aspects of the relationship

Dr. Jenkins emphasizes that resentment can be particularly corrosive, slowly eroding the value partners see in each other and in the relationship itself if left unchecked.

Strategies for Overcoming Relationship Stress

When relationship stress reaches a critical point, Dr. Jenkins recommends several strategies for couples to reconnect and work through their challenges:

Gain Self-Awareness

Start by taking an honest inventory of your own feelings, behaviors, and contributions to the relationship dynamic. Notice how your actions may be impacting your partner and the overall system of your relationship.

Choose the Right Time to Talk

Pick appropriate times to have important conversations, rather than ambushing your partner or trying to discuss sensitive topics when you're both tired or stressed. Schedule time to talk when you'll both be in a good headspace.

Use "I" Statements

Frame your concerns using "I feel" statements rather than accusatory "you always" language. This helps your partner hear your perspective without becoming defensive.

Get Curious

Ask questions to better understand your partner's point of view instead of making assumptions. Approach discussions with genuine curiosity about their experience.

Take Breaks When Needed

If conversations become heated, take a timeout to calm down before continuing. This prevents saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment.

Focus on Strengths

Remind yourselves of the positive aspects of your relationship and why you chose each other. Build on your strengths as a couple.

Create New Positive Associations

Make an effort to have fun together and create new positive memories, especially in areas of your home that may have become associated with conflict.

Seek Professional Support

Working with a couples therapist or relationship coach can provide objective guidance and teach you new tools for communicating and reconnecting.

Daily Habits to Prevent Relationship Stress

Dr. Jenkins recommends several habits couples can practice regularly to keep their relationship strong and prevent stress from snowballing:

Daily Check-Ins

Make time each day to genuinely connect with your partner, even if briefly. Ask how they're feeling and share about your own day.

Weekly Discussions

Set aside time weekly to talk about wins, challenges, and anything that may be bubbling up. This prevents issues from festering.

Monthly Check-Ups

Have a more in-depth monthly conversation to review your relationship, discuss goals, and address any ongoing concerns.

Compliments and Flirting

Make an effort to regularly compliment your partner and keep flirtation alive in your relationship.

Create Positive Environments

Make your shared spaces inviting and filled with happy reminders of your relationship. Display photos of good times together.

Change Up Your Routine

Try having important conversations in new environments, like during a walk, to avoid triggering old patterns.

Practice Gratitude

Regularly express appreciation for your partner and the things they do, both big and small.

The Importance of Ongoing Effort

Dr. Jenkins emphasizes that successful long-term relationships require consistent effort and practice. Even if only one partner starts making changes, it can have a positive ripple effect on the entire relationship dynamic.

By implementing strategies to improve communication, manage conflict constructively, and nurture your connection, couples can overcome periods of stress and build a stronger foundation for their relationship.

Remember that all couples face challenges - it's how you work through them together that matters most. With the right tools and mindset, relationship stress can become an opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy rather than a source of disconnection.

If you're struggling in your relationship, don't hesitate to seek support. Resources like couples therapy, relationship education programs, and Dr. Jenkins' Couple Smart Restart program can provide valuable guidance for reconnecting and thriving as a couple.

By making your relationship a priority and approaching challenges as a team, you can navigate stress more effectively and create a fulfilling partnership built to withstand life's ups and downs.

Article created from: https://youtu.be/lADAgS5wMqU