Mastering the Art of Not Caring What Others Think: A Guide to Success

The Easiest Way to Lose in Life

The easiest way to lose in life is to try to avoid looking bad. To truly succeed, you have to stop caring about what other people think of you. This can be incredibly challenging, especially when pursuing big goals that may go against conventional wisdom. But learning to ignore criticism and stay focused on your vision is essential for achieving extraordinary results.

Ignore the Opinions of Losers

One of the most important mindset shifts is to ignore the opinions of people who aren't where you want to be in life. As the saying goes, "Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from."

Richer people won't judge you for saving money. Fitter people won't judge you for watching your diet. Higher status people won't judge you for cutting toxic friends from your life. It's usually the people going nowhere who have the most to say, because they have nothing better to do.

Their criticism is often a positive sign that you're on the right path. Their negativity comes from a place of protecting their own egos and justifying their lack of action. Don't let it deter you.

Instead, listen to people who are closest to your goals. Seek out mentors and role models who have achieved what you want to achieve. Consume information from successful people in your field. Even if you can't connect with them directly, you can learn from their content and experiences.

Extreme People Get Extreme Results

To achieve extraordinary success, you often have to take extreme action. Being "balanced" and following conventional wisdom usually leads to mediocre results.

Many of the goals and aspirations you have are likely well above average. For example, earning $1 million per year puts you in the top 0.1% of income earners globally. You can't expect to reach such rare levels of success by behaving like everyone else.

It requires taking unrelenting, obsessive action for long periods of time with little to no reward. You have to be willing to look crazy or unreasonable to others. But that's the price of admission for achieving rare levels of success.

As Charlie Munger said, "Never underestimate the man who overestimates himself." Having big goals and an unshakable belief in yourself is key, even if others think you're delusional.

Raise Your Standards

Your beliefs about what's possible create the construct within which you live your life. To change your life, you have to change your belief system.

Most of our beliefs are not actually our own - they were given to us by others. Question your assumptions about what's achievable. Look to high achievers and how they operate to expand your view of what's possible.

High performers often have an unreasonable level of expectation for themselves and others. They systematically break down obstacles that most people accept as unchangeable. Cultivate that same level of determination and refusal to accept limitations.

Determination Trumps Intelligence

Paul Graham of Y Combinator observed that determination is far more important than raw intelligence when it comes to startup success. Someone with average intelligence but extreme determination will usually outperform a genius who gives up easily.

Determination can be measured by your "extinction curve" - how many times you're willing to try something without seeing results before giving up. The longer your extinction curve, the more likely you are to eventually succeed.

Most people give up far too early. They knock once or twice and assume no one is home. Winners keep knocking, looking through windows, calling friends, and doing whatever it takes until they achieve their goal.

Cultivate extreme persistence. Be willing to look unreasonable or even crazy in pursuit of your goals. That level of determination is rare and will set you apart.

Pain is a Prerequisite to Progress

Growth and progress are inherently uncomfortable. As soon as you stretch past your current capabilities, it's going to be painful. But that pain is necessary to stimulate adaptation and improvement.

The fastest growth periods are often the most miserable. But you can beat 99% of people simply by being willing to endure more pain and uncertainty for longer.

Paul Graham said that to earn a million dollars, you have to endure a million dollars worth of pain. There's no way around it. The key is to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Much of the pain comes from uncertainty. You don't know if your efforts will pay off. But you have to have faith that if you keep pushing forward, you'll eventually break through.

Life and business don't fight fair. You have to be willing to fight and win regardless of the circumstances. Install whatever mindset and belief system you need to persevere.

Be Okay With No One Cheering for You

Consistency is never impressive in the moment, only in retrospect. No one cheers for you not drinking for one day or eating healthy for one meal. But those small consistent actions compound over time into major results.

People only root for those who don't need it - once you've already won. You have to be your own cheerleader before anyone else joins in.

Master the boring, soul-crushing middle part of the journey. That's where the real winning happens, when no one is watching or encouraging you. You have to find intrinsic motivation.

Sometimes you'll have to go against the advice of everyone around you and trust your own instincts. Be willing to tell others they're wrong if you truly believe in your vision.

Hold Yourself to a Higher Standard

Self-love isn't about pampering yourself. It's about holding yourself to a higher standard than anyone else does. It's doing whatever it takes to bridge the gap between who you are and who you can become.

That voice in your head that's never satisfied with your achievements isn't insecurity - it's the part of you that knows you're capable of more. Listen to it.

If you want to inspire others to reach a higher standard, you have to model it yourself. Your actions speak louder than words. Hold yourself accountable first.

Accept Hard Trade-offs

There's no perfect way to live your 20s. You either "live them up" and become an under-skilled 30-year-old, or you work hard and become an "under-lived" 30-year-old. You have to decide which trade-off you'd rather make.

In my experience, far more people regret not working harder in their 20s than regret not partying more. The skills and accomplishments you gain in your 20s compound over time. The parties and vacations quickly fade into irrelevance.

Be intentional about the trade-offs you're making. Don't just accept the default path. Really consider what you're giving up and what you're gaining.

Be Willing to Look Like an Idiot

The easiest way to lose in life is to avoid looking bad. But you have to be willing to look foolish while you figure things out. Once you do figure it out, everyone else looks foolish for doubting you.

Sam Altman wrote about the power of being misunderstood. You should be willing to trade short-term low status for long-term high status. This often means being right about something important that most people disagree with.

All asymmetric returns in life come from betting against conventional wisdom. But conventional wisdom is usually right. So you have to be willing to bet big on yourself when you see something others don't.

Final Thoughts

When facing adversity, losers think "poor me" while champions think "poor everyone else who will try to catch up to me." You have to believe with all your heart that you're going to make it, even when it seems impossible.

Success is largely a mindset. You become successful the moment you decide you are. Your current self is living a life your past self once dreamed of. Recognize how far you've come, even as you keep pushing forward.

You can be both successful and dissatisfied simultaneously. Use that dissatisfaction to fuel further growth rather than diminish your accomplishments. Keep raising the bar for yourself.

Ultimately, not caring what others think is about having the courage to bet on yourself. Trust your own judgment. Be willing to look foolish in the short-term to achieve extraordinary results in the long-term. That's the path to true success and fulfillment.

Article created from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqjGxVW-Ae0