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Start for freeUnderstanding Narcissism and Gaslighting
Welcome back to our channel where we tackle topics related to narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and the complexities of toxic relationships. Our goal is to empower you with knowledge so you can navigate these challenging interactions more effectively.
What is Gaslighting?
For those new here, let's quickly define gaslighting. It involves denying someone's reality—this could be denying actual events or simply invalidating someone's feelings. Common phrases used in gaslighting include "You have no right to feel that way" or "You're being too sensitive." This manipulation tactic is a core component of many toxic relationships, particularly those involving narcissists.
The Public vs. Private Faces of a Narcissist
Many of you might be familiar with the scenario where a narcissist behaves one way in private and completely differently in public. In intimate settings, they may exhibit behaviors like invalidation, manipulation, criticism, anger, and rage. Contrast this with their public demeanor at social events where they appear charming, gracious, and considerate—remembering names, assisting others physically, paying for meals, and showering people with compliments.
This stark difference isn't just confusing; it's a strategic form of gaslighting. At home, the narcissist’s mask comes off revealing their true contemptuous self. However, in public, they play a different role to gain admiration and validation from others.
The Impact on Victims
This dual behavior pattern creates cognitive dissonance in victims who often remember the 'good times' or public displays of affection while trying to reconcile them with the harsh reality experienced privately. This confusion leads victims to doubt their perceptions and even blame themselves for the problems in the relationship.
Victims are left feeling anxious, confused, full of self-doubt, helpless, and hopeless. When these individuals try to share their experiences with friends or family who have only seen the charming side of the narcissist, they often don't receive the support they need because others can't reconcile this image with what's being described.
Why Recognizing This Pattern Matters
Understanding this dynamic is crucial not only for those directly involved in such relationships but also for their friends and family members. Recognizing that someone can exhibit such polar opposite behaviors depending on the setting is key to supporting victims effectively.
If someone confides that what you see in public isn’t what happens behind closed doors—believe them. It’s important not to dismiss these accounts simply because they don’t align with your perception.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Narcissists wear masks tailored to their audience—charming in public while being manipulative at home—to maintain control over their partners while preserving their social image for supply needs. By understanding these tactics better we can support victims more effectively by validating their experiences rather than questioning them based on our limited observations.
Article created from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLsH2NJD1Vo
