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Start for freeUnderstanding Empaths and People Pleasers
Empaths and people pleasers are often drawn to each other due to their shared core wounds of abandonment. This dynamic can lead to codependent relationships where one party consistently sacrifices their needs for the approval of others. The video discussed sheds light on why empaths attract narcissists, explaining that both personality types stem from similar childhood traumas but react in opposite ways.
The Role of Childhood Dynamics
The upbringing of an empath or a people pleaser often involves high parental expectations and criticism. Children in these environments learn to tune their behaviors to avoid conflict and gain approval, which may involve suppressing their own needs. This pattern can persist long-term, influencing adult relationships and self-perception.
The Impact on Professional Life
The video illustrates this with a personal story about the creator's father, a fire investigator who missed out on a promotion despite being highly qualified. His tendency to over-deliver without asserting his leadership qualities likely contributed to this professional setback. This example highlights how people-pleasing behaviors can hinder career advancement by preventing individuals from embodying necessary leadership traits.
The Power of Individuation
Individuation is a crucial process for empaths and people pleasers. It involves reclaiming one's energy from external influences and focusing on internal growth. Carl Jung, who coined the term, emphasized its importance in achieving personal wholeness.
Steps Towards Individuation:
- Self-realization: Asking oneself introspective questions like 'Who am I?' and 'What am I about?'
- Setting Boundaries: Learning to say no to others' demands that conflict with one's well-being.
- Embracing One's True Self: Pursuing personal interests and values despite potential disapproval from others.
The creator shares his journey of individuation after his parents' divorce, describing how he began making choices that reflected his true self rather than conforming to expectations.
Practical Tips for Empaths and People Pleasers:
- Reel In Your Energy: Understand that not all external emotional states need to be internalized.
- Cultivate Self-awareness: Regularly reflect on whether your actions are aligned with your true desires or driven by an urge to appease others.
- Embrace Polarization: Realize that not everyone will agree or align with your true self, which is not only acceptable but beneficial as it filters out inauthentic relationships.
- Participate in Growth-oriented Activities: Engage in challenges like the 21-day confidence love challenge mentioned in the video, which combines lessons, live videos, breathwork, etc., designed to strengthen your sense of self.
- Seek Supportive Communities: Join groups where growth and authenticity are encouraged; this could amplify your transformation journey through shared experiences and collective energy during live sessions as described in the video.
- Meditation and Guided Practices: These tools can help consolidate your sense of individuality and reduce the tendency towards people-pleasing behavior.
- Question Your Motivations: Regularly assess whether you are acting out of genuine interest or seeking external validation.
- Prioritize Self-care: Always ensure your actions contribute positively to your well-being before considering others' needs or reactions. The insights provided not only highlight common pitfalls for empaths but also offer actionable steps towards reclaiming autonomy over one’s life choices.
Article created from: https://youtu.be/yS5drCNVDIk?si=3tEpvbV75XsWDZgr
