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Start for freeMusic has always served as a powerful medium for expressing emotions and experiences that are sometimes too complex or painful for words alone. In a recent YouTube video, a poignant and raw performance echoes the sentiments of someone struggling with their identity and the impact of a traumatic childhood.
The Struggle for Identity
The refrain, "If I am Computing, I am not a computer", becomes a metaphor for the struggle of self-identity, emphasizing that participating in an action does not define the entirety of a person's being. The artist vehemently rejects being labeled or confined to a singular aspect of their existence.
The Pain of Childhood Abuse
Amid the powerful lyrics, there's an outcry against childhood abuse. The lines "my daddy is so bad, he hits and my daddy restrains me it really hurts" reveal a history of physical abuse and the long-lasting impact it has on the psyche. The song doesn't shy away from depicting the violence and the emotional turmoil that comes with it:
- "My daddy doesn't only do take downs or only restraints, my daddy beats his kids up."
- "He FS his kids up, he beats his kids as the part of being disciplined."
These lines speak to the confusion and pain of experiencing discipline that crosses into abuse, forcing the listener to confront the darker aspects of family dynamics and child-rearing.
Self-Affirmation and Resilience
Despite the dark themes, the video also contains a powerful message of resilience and self-affirmation. The repeated declarations of "I'm not a computer" serve as a mantra for the artist, asserting their humanity and complexity beyond the simplistic actions they perform.
Overcoming Anger and Frustration
The artist conveys a sense of mounting frustration and anger, feeling misunderstood and reduced to mechanistic actions. The lines "I'm getting mad right now, I'm a bre Charlie's computer, I just feel so bad right now" show an internal battle, a fight to maintain one's sense of self in the face of dehumanizing experiences.
The Desire for Autonomy and Expression
There's a strong desire for autonomy and the freedom to be oneself expressed through the lyrics: "Starting way who the me, I got to be wrong like that they just want to me too, I'm B who I want to do." This speaks to the universal human need to be seen and accepted for who we are, not just for what we do or how others perceive us.
A Universal Message
The song's universal message resonates with anyone who has ever felt pigeonholed or defined by a single facet of their life. It challenges societal norms that often dictate strict roles and behaviors, encouraging individuality and the rejection of labels.
Conclusion
This YouTube video provides a raw and unfiltered look into the complexities of identity, the scars of abuse, and the power of music to express and heal. While the video's content is heavy, the artist's message of not giving up and asserting one's humanity is both inspiring and thought-provoking.
Music can often reach into the depths of our experiences and articulate the inarticulable. It can be a form of therapy, a way to process and make sense of what we've gone through. This performance is a testament to that power – the power to confront, to affirm, and to ultimately declare, "If I am Computing, I am not a computer."
