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Start for freeNavigating First Date Conversations
First dates are filled with potential, but they can also be a minefield of awkward moments and conversation pitfalls. Vanessa Veneto, a human behavior expert from the Science of People, shares her insights on what not to discuss during these initial encounters. Here are the top seven conversation killers that could derail your date before it even gets going.
1. Family Commentary
It might seem harmless to mention what your mom or dad thinks on a first date, but it's best to leave parents out of the equation. The idea is to focus on each other, not bring in third-party opinions, especially from family members. This helps keep the atmosphere light and personal between just the two of you.
2. Political Discussions
Politics can be divisive and bringing up such topics on a first date can create unnecessary tension. It's wise to save political discussions for later encounters when you both have a more established emotional connection. This allows the first date to be about discovering mutual interests and enjoying each other's company without contentious debates.
3. Dating History Queries
Asking about your date's history on dating apps or their number of past dates can quickly turn the conversation uncomfortable. It's akin to measuring something with an unreliable tool—it doesn't provide any useful information and can lead to awkward comparisons.
4. Ex-Relationship Mentions
Mentioning an ex-partner can send the wrong signal—it might make your date think you're not over them or that they're being compared to previous partners. Keep the focus on getting to know each other instead of dwelling on past relationships.
5. The Billboard Check Rule
When deciding whether or not a topic is appropriate for a first date, Vanessa suggests using the 'Billboard Check'. If you wouldn't want it displayed on a billboard with your face on it, it's probably not suitable for a first date conversation. This includes overly personal details or anything that might make someone uncomfortable.
What Should You Talk About?
With all these restrictions, you might wonder what's left to discuss? Focus on shared interests, ask open-ended questions about hobbies, dreams, and passions, and most importantly—listen actively and engage with what your date is sharing.
Vanessa Veneto emphasizes that while knowing what not to talk about is crucial, having genuine conversations where both parties feel heard and interested is key to making that first connection last beyond just one meeting.
Remember these tips next time you find yourself preparing for a first date! With careful consideration of your topics, you can set the stage for a potentially wonderful relationship—or at least avoid turning it just another funny story for friends.
Article created from: https://youtu.be/obUokOGB494?si=Qi_pJwU3GJxe4s0i
